Every day I am so SO happy to spend my days with my children. Every day has difficult moments in which I have to remind myself why I am doing what I am doing and why it is valuable. Every day I look at my children and feel so in love with them. Every day I feel sad when I realize how much time has passed since each one first entered our lives. Fours years, two years, and ten months is not long for someone who has adult children, but to me it is significant. Truly, where does the time go? I wake up with a mixture of happiness and sadness. Happy for a new day to spend living out my current passion, but sad that another day has come and gone. I worry that my time with my children will end quicker than I am expecting. I fear it, but I'm glad the thought is always present in my mind. I think living without an awareness of your own mortality is worse. But I've come to realize the only way to overpower that fear is to live more fully. My children are heathy and thriving and growing each day and that is awesome. Every day I want to cherish my time, my life, and all the goodness I have to be thankful for. I have much to be thankful for.
Avett I love you so very much. Honestly, the last eight months have been a crazy whirlwind. I didn't know it before it happened, but transitioning from two to three children is disorienting and so that's a good way to describe how I feel about the time since you've been with us. Disorienting but wonderful. I absolutely love our family and your presence here. You are such a sweet, beautiful baby. People tell us often how truly beautiful you are and I have to agree. Since birth you have not slept a night anywhere other than right next to me. I am sleep deprived usually by my own fault because you still only wake 1-3 times a night, nurse a little, then go right back to sleep. It is obvious how much you love your brother and your sister. You are fascinated with them and love to watch them play and laugh. They love you back just as much. Every morning you guys are happy to see each other. You have loved being worn from Day1 and that has not changed a bit. You spend A LOT of time in the Ergo or in the ring sling. You are happier when being worn and it makes our daily life much easier. Breastfeeding/my boobs are probably your #1 favorite thing. Nursing has come so naturally to both of us from the beginning and I feel that we benefit from it equally. Breastfeeding provides you with comfort, nourishment, and a deep connection with me. I LOVE feeding you from my breast and will miss it terribly when I no longer have a baby to nurse. You and I have this attachment that runs deep, I treasure it. You eat very little "real food" because we don't give you many opportunities and your thighs prove that you are far from hungry or starved. I adore your blond hair, your big blue eyes and your rolls on top of rolls. You smile and laugh often and you are very ticklish just like your brother, sister and dad. You haven't shown any serious signs of getting ready to crawl; maybe you'll skip that milestone like your sister. You DO like to stand up while we hold your hands. You have been an amazing little addition to our family these past eight months and you are treasured by each of us. <3